


Worth killing

by orphan_account



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:40:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25048555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: After a few moments, he laughed but again, his mind was not focusing on any particular issue – no funny jokes, no amusing situations. Oh, well – humor had never been something objective, he considered, so, yes, let’s say he was thinking about something very entertaining.Or;Hisoka is on his own, but his sweet fruit finds him to ask him something.
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Hisoka, minor - Relationship
Kudos: 29





	Worth killing

**Author's Note:**

> Note: canonical one-sided attraction – discussion of age difference and Hisoka’s behavior. This for saying, you have a free interpretation of what’s going on.
> 
> Mainly, it’s a character study exercise, focusing on writing about Hisoka’s deviant mentality.  
> No kids have been touched by the beloved psycho clown.

Hisoka grinned. He wasn’t thinking of anything too specific, really, it just happened that he felt like it. At times, even a few shadows in the forest could make him smile, with no real meaning – a firefly, a scared animal, and even … even there, that figure he could not identify just yet (was that shadow even real, he wondered?).

After a few moments, he laughed but again, his mind was not focusing on any particular issue – no funny jokes, no amusing situations. Oh, well – humor had never been something objective, he considered, so, yes, let’s say he was thinking about something very entertaining.

In his head, everything was dyed red and a tiny boy was drowning in that pool of blood and glitters. The body of a teenager, dressed in green; many wounds covered his legs and a reddish flower was blooming in his chest, destroying the ribcage with its own, delicate petals – oh, so delicious! What a masterpiece, indeed!

Hisoka was crazy, one could say, but who was not? Everyone had flaws – everyone collected sins and to believe the contrary, well, was pure hypocrisy. People had secrets: they had many, innocent ones but, if you looked carefully, you could see blobs of black ink, lurking.

Young or old. Binary or non-binary – immoralities knew no label.

Suddenly, Hisoka sighed: humanity was becoming so boring – not even his _toys_ understood him. Such a disappointment, truly.

Coming back to business: It was a lonely night – cold and dry but peaceful. It was appreciable, even.

He didn’t mind the lack of company; he didn’t care if he was there, in the forest, alone or with someone else. Why would he? Loneliness had always been part of his life, and he didn’t see anything wrong with it.

If he wanted, though, Hisoka could turn on his heels and walk back to the campsite to look for a potential partner for that night. Telling the truth, he wasn’t in the right mood for an _exciting_ activity: everything he wanted to do was to slack off, which meant spending his time teasing his lovely apple.

(Lord forgive him if he was so persistent, but --- his fruit, his prey --- that prey, was so delicious!)

And fate seemed to be by his side.

“Hisoka!”

At the thrilling voice, said man bit his bottom lip and tried to still on the ground, legs crossed and kept shuffling his cards. Oh, what strange news – Gon had never pronounced his name with such a joy in his voice – what was that? Did he want to fight him? No, he was smart enough to understand that he was no match at that moment.

“I found you!” Gon stated with his usual childish voice.

“Oh, my, indeed you found me, Gon ◊,” said the older man, and pointed at the spot at his side, hoping that the young Zoldyck wouldn’t jump out from nowhere, as he used to.

Eventually, the boy obliged and, smiling brightly, sat right there, “why are you here alone?”

The shuffling stopped, and Hisoka placed the deck against his lips, “uhm, I don’t know, Gon – should I tell you? ◊”

Gon frowned, “I knew it! Were you training without telling us?”

At that, Hisoka placed a chaste kiss on the first card, “no, unfortunately, I wasn’t in the mood for it.”

“Uh? What are you in the mood for, then?” and oh, if that didn’t sound like the most exquisite invitation! Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case – no, it was just the Magician’s mind running a bit too fast towards a very problematic direction.

Hisoka knew his fruits had yet to ripen, both mentally and physically. There was no chance the boy could intend it the same way Hisoka did.

But one day – maybe, one day… Ah, the implication alone was

“I don’t know, Gon – what are in the mood for? ◊”

With no much surprise, the boy seemed to take the question seriously, “At the campsite, we were talking about dates and relationships and I got curious!”

Hisoka hummed, “curious, you say? ◊”

Gon nodded eagerly, “have you ever had a relationship? You don’t strike as the type who would like one, but everyone thinks you had many in your life,” he said, emphasizing the **_many_** by opening his arms.

“There are many different ways to describe a relationship, Gon,” the magician explained, humored but very glad to be the first person to explain those things to his fruit, “romantic, physical, lasting, not lasting – serious, not serious. ◊”

“Mmmh, any lasting relationship?” Gon asked.

“Nope, not really – either they die, or I get bored ◊,” most of the time, his relationships were just a hunter and prey little game. Of course, he was the hunter each and every time but he didn’t need to specify it.

“Not even a romantic one?”

The magician scowled, putting the deck aside to replace it with index-finger – how long had it been since he had last kissed someone out of a romantic interest? His eyes widened: oh, never! His curiosity was easy to kill.

“No, that neither,” he admitted, chuckling, “it wouldn’t be possible for me. ◊”

“Why?”

“No matter what kind of feeling ties me to another human being – if someone interests me, I’d kill them, no matter what,” he stated, shrugging as if what was saying was perfectly normal, “romance is useless for someone like me. ◊”

Which the boy seemed to not understand, and he grimaced in response, “but wouldn’t you feel alone, at a certain point? If you kill everyone, I mean…”

Uh? Was his boy worried about his feelings? Oh-oh, how kind of him – how kind and pure! Definitely, it was not the kind of treatment you would expect from any of Hisoka’s previous challenger but that – _that_ was what made Gon so special!

Special and so, so very delicious!

“Why are you so curious, Gon?” he teased, speaking with that languid tone of his, “perhaps, do you want to stay with me for the rest of your life? ◊”

Gon shook his head, “I’m too young for you.”

“Oh, if that’s the only problem, I can wait, my sweet fruit ◊,” Hisoka cooed – after all, that was what he was doing already. He was waiting for Gon to ripen and become the opponent he had always desired to meet along with Chrollo.

Again, Gon refused him, “you’re not my type!”

“What a pity!” Hisoka cried out, “People like you happen once in a lifetime ◊,” he added, licking his bottom lip, “and who am I to waste such opportunity?”

Slowly, the magician tried to reach Gon’s cheek with his hand, but the boy startled him, speaking up again.

“Okay, hear me out,” he said, and Hisoka stared at him, blinking. That was not something he had expected, honestly – he had been prepared to watch as Gon rushed away from him, not – not to start a conversation.

What a weird boy…

What a surprising, lovely boy!

“What if your lover is someone completely different from people who --- who,” and gestured vaguely at Hisoka’s pants, looking away for a moment. The red-haired smirked.

“From people who excite me, Gon? ◊” He suggested – how cute, his precious apple, he wasn’t even able to talk of those kinds of arguments.

“Yeah, that! You get like that because your opponent is strong,” Gon resumed.

“Yes, I get hard because my opponent is strong ◊.”

Gon puffed out his cheeks, “you don’t need to say it aloud, you know?”

“Oh, so much so! But it’s no fun if I can’t tease you a little, ◊” he provoked.

“You’re so mean,” Gon pouted, “but, I was saying: what if your partner is weak?”

This time, Hisoka froze – the mere thought was a big turn off, “a weak? With me? You’re offending me, Gon! ◊”

“Am I, really?”

Hisoka nodded, “you hurt me! Why would I want a weak at my side? ◊”

Gon shrugged, “love?”

“Love? ◊” the older man spat out as if it was the most disgusting word ever known. Falling in love had never been part of his plans…

“Protective instinct?” the boy tried again.

“I’d pretend to believe that you have a bad sense of humor, dear ◊,” Hisoka replied, wincing.

“Now you’re just being rude…”

Hisoka shrugged, “that’s what you get when you say sappy things ◊.”

“But why…?” Gon lowered his voice, and placed his hands on his lap, fidgeting with the cord of his trousers. Though, Hisoka was too worried about creating a proper answer instead of finding it cute.

The Magician sighed, exasperated, “because everything I **_love_** is worth killing, Gon. This means,” taking back his cards, he picked one and started to examine it, carefully. Now, his attention span was dropping to zero – he didn’t care what Gon’s point was.

He was talking nonsense.

Hisoka didn’t need love.

He didn’t need someone always at his side – _~~nobody would stay eventually.~~_

“I don’t care who they are – If I want them, they’ll die.”

Gon resumed his speech, but Hisoka didn’t care at all.

A lasting relationship was not what he was looking for – (not that he was sure what that was either).

They’ll die, because they were not able to understand the meaning Hisoka gave to the word _relationship._

They’ll die!

Die!

DIE!

Because, at the end of the day, nobody was able to give him what he needed.

Nobody would satisfy him entirely.

He collected corpse along his path and always forget about who they were and ho he had felt about them.

Everyone became trash and Hisoka’s hanger would only grow stronger and insatiable.

Suddenly, he grinned and Gon’s voice went off, probably scared by those sick expression of the Magician – eyes going wide and bloodshot and his evil aura surrounding them both.

 _Love_ , ah?

What a useless concept.


End file.
